Doris Day credited as playing...
Cathy Timberlake
- Cathy Timberlake: [very drunk] Do you like the way I walk?
- Philip Shayne: Poetry in motion.
- Cathy Timberlake: I learned when I was a baby, been walking for years.
- Mr. Everett Beasley: Oh! Well, Miss Timberlake, back again for a little of the taxpayers' money, hmm? So did you work last week?
- Cathy Timberlake: No.
- Mr. Everett Beasley: Are you available for work?
- Cathy Timberlake: Yes.
- Mr. Everett Beasley: Did you turn down any jobs?
- Cathy Timberlake: No.
- Mr. Everett Beasley: Are you busy tonight?
- Cathy Timberlake: Yes.
- Mr. Everett Beasley: If, in our opinion, the applicant hasn't exercised proper diligence in seeking employment, we can withhold payment of checks... Perhaps tomorrow night? There's a wonderful little diner round the corner from where I live and after dinner we could, uh, well... perhaps...
- Cathy Timberlake: Go up to your apartment?
- Mr. Everett Beasley: Well, I, uh...
- Cathy Timberlake: If you want me to go up to your apartment, come out and ask. That way I can think about it and make a decision.
- Mr. Everett Beasley: Would you like to stop off at my place?
- Cathy Timberlake: May I have my check?
- Mr. Everett Beasley: Oh. Of course. Well?
- Cathy Timberlake: I would enjoy going out with you, Mr Beasley... if I didn't find you so personally distasteful. You're a sneaky, crude, offensive man. That's just how I feel. I'm sure there are hundreds of girls who admire those qualities.
- Cathy Timberlake: Look, he doesn't love me. He just feels sorry for me.
- Roger: Doesn't love you? He's compared you to the plague!
- Cathy Timberlake: How would you feel? Here I am, he practically runs me down and then drives right away! And doesn't have the decency to apologise himself. Furthermore I have a job interview and have to go like this. He doesn't care.
- Roger: Ohhh...
- Cathy Timberlake: You know what I'd like to do?
- Roger: Throw the money in his face?
- Cathy Timberlake: Exactly! I'd like to throw that money right in his face.
- Roger: Would you?
- Cathy Timberlake: Yes, I would.
- Roger: I've waited seven years for this moment. You come with me!
- Cathy Timberlake: And I'm unstable. What kind of mother would I make for our children?
- Philip Shayne: Well we'll try three or four if that doesn't work out, we'll breed poodles.
- Connie Emerson: Cathy. A man picks you up off the street, drags you up to his office, tricks you into taking your clothes off and then propositions you. What can you expect from a man like that?
- Cathy Timberlake: Respect.
- Connie Emerson: Respect. On that note of logic, I'll go to work.
- Umpire: Strike!
- Cathy Timberlake: Strike?
- [shouts]
- Cathy Timberlake: Hey, ump, shake your head, your eyeballs are stuck! It was a ball, it was that far away from the plate.
- Umpire: [Approaching the dugout] Lady, will you keep it down over here? You've been riding me all night.
- Cathy Timberlake: Mickey, you saw that pitch, it was a ball, wasn't it?
- Mickey Mantle: It looked like it.
- Umpire: You're out of the game, Mantle.
- Cathy Timberlake: What? Roger, what do you think?
- Roger Maris: It could've missed the corner.
- Umpire: You're out, Maris.
- Cathy Timberlake: Yogi...
- Yogi Berra: It was a perfect strike, the ump was right.
- Umpire: I don't like sarcasm, Berra. You're out of the game as well.
- Cathy Timberlake: You can't do that!
- Umpire: Lady...
- Cathy Timberlake: Where's the Manager?
- Philip Shayne: I think he's hiding.
- Cathy Timberlake: [Cathy is rushing off to meet Philip, over Connie's objections] Connie, this is terribly important to me. I've got to *prove* to him that I'm a woman!
- Connie Emerson: [calls after her] Well, there are easier ways to do it. Send him your birth certificate!