Heather Locklear: Amanda Woodward

Melrose Place

Amanda Woodward

Amanda Woodward: What can I say, when God was passing out business sense, Jane was in the back of the line getting her nails done.

Amanda Woodward: I just think sometimes I'm a little too blunt with people and I should work on that.
Jo Beth Reyonds: Couldn't hurt.

[Discussing their mutual divorces over dinner, where Peter has dressed Taylor in Beth's conservative clothing]
Dr. Peter Burns: I mean, first Craig and now Kyle. You're losing ground Amanda. It's almost slutty.
Kyle McBride: Hey. That's a lady your talking to.
Taylor Davis McBride: Oh that's funny. The male slut defending the female slut.
Kyle McBride: Better a slut than a conniving bitch.
Amanda Woodward: Or worse, a conniving bitch in some *ugly* ass clothes.

Amanda Woodward: Is your memory that selective or are you just suffering from some grand delusion?

[Amanda on men]
Amanda: Get used to the fact that even the most perfect, sensitive guy is, bottom line,a dog. I mean, he might be a well-behaved dog, but he still howls at the moon and grabs the first leg he can get ahold of.

Amanda: Until now I have tolerated you childish behavior but this crosses the line.
Craig: I just thought that since San Francisco went so well...
Amanda: ...you'd see if you could charm me into bed? There's only one man who can do that, and that's my husband, whom I happen to love very much.

Kyle McBride: You're allright Amanda. I always thought you were a shrieking fish wife, but you're allright.
Amanda Woodward: Well, you're not so bad yourself for someone I thought of as a hen-pecked know nothing.
[pause]
Kyle McBride: Hen-pecked?
Amanda Woodward: ...know-nothing.

[Amanda's trying to evict Taylor]
Taylor Davis McBride: There are laws against This. Tenants rights, squaters rights, human rights.
Amanda Woodward: Well, look who's talking about being human... the most in-human person on Earth.
Taylor Davis McBride: Oh really, giving up your title so soon?

Amanda Woodward: Look who's talking about being human, the most in-human person on Earth.
Taylor Davis McBride: Oh, giving up your title so soon?

[At Kyle and Amanda's engagement party]
Taylor Davis McBride: I think before the main course comes out, that one of you should give a toast to the happy couple. Now, anyone will do, except for the wannabe war-bride Christine. I don't think you'd have anything nice to say, now would you?
Kyle McBride: Damnit Taylor, I said back off.
Taylor Davis McBride: Hey! Excuse me if I think it's inappropriate that you bring the girl you've been dreaming about for years here.
Amanda Woodward: This is none of your business, *waitress*. Now go get us more food.

Lexi Sterling Cooper: Listen, why don't you do us all a favor and get another helicopter crash or kidnapped?
Amanda Woodward: You know, Lexi, when I look at you all I see is a bitter woman uncapable of love.
Lexi Sterling Cooper: Amanda, it's not me you see, it's your own reflection.

Amanda Woodward: If you're going to kiss me, don't do that pent-up macho anger thing. I don't like bruises.

[Before Amanda's wedding to Kyle]
Taylor Davis McBride: Amanda! I couldn't find anything blue, but I did find something old... a picture of Kyle and me on *our* wedding day. Oh hell, you already got the something borrowed bit with my husband. Too bad he hasn't shown! All the guests out there are wondering if maybe he stood you up.
Amanda Woodward: You know, I don't remember you being added to the guest list, so why don't you get out of here?
Taylor Davis McBride: Gladly. Oh, by the way... that dress is hideous.

Kyle McBride: [to Amanda] I love you!
[She slaps him]
Amanda Woodward: This isn't about love. It's about two dead women... Christine and me. And I killed us both.