- Dr. Michael Mancini: It's this building... it makes people nuts. It must be something in the water, something to do with the pool. Come to think of it, I was normal when I moved in.
- Taylor Davis McBride: The baby's kicking again.
- Dr. Michael Mancini: Well, of course he is. You're his mother. I'm surprised he's not screaming bloody murder and holding up a liquor store.
- Sydney: By the way, Kimberly, how is electroshock going? Certainly has put an attractive curl in your hair.
- Sydney Andrews Mancini Field: [Sydney's note] No doctors in today. Burns in jail, Mancini in hospital.
- Amanda Woodward: What can I say, when God was passing out business sense, Jane was in the back of the line getting her nails done.
- [to Matt]
- Dr. Michael Mancini: I don't know how it works with your kind, but when I buy a woman a closet full of clothes, it's because I want to see her naked.
- Amanda Woodward: I just think sometimes I'm a little too blunt with people and I should work on that.
- Jo Beth Reyonds: Couldn't hurt.
- Sydney Andrews Mancini Fields: Michael, I love you.
- Dr. Michael Mancini: Well, that's your problem, isn't it?
- Sydney Andrews Mancini Fields: We're perfect for each other. Don't you get it?
- Dr. Michael Mancini: Get this, Sydney. You are one stupid slut who's crossed the line and I don't want to see your face anymore.
- Sydney Andrews Mancini Fields: Jane warned me about how cranky you get in the morning.
- [Jane is trying to comfort Richard after Mackenzie's death]
- Richard Hart: [coldly] Keep your clothes on Jane, it's not gonna work this time.
- [learning that Megan is a hooker]
- Dr. Michael Mancini: I've had a lot of practice dealing with women who, shall we say... stray from the norm.
- [Discussing their mutual divorces over dinner, where Peter has dressed Taylor in Beth's conservative clothing]
- Dr. Peter Burns: I mean, first Craig and now Kyle. You're losing ground Amanda. It's almost slutty.
- Kyle McBride: Hey. That's a lady your talking to.
- Taylor Davis McBride: Oh that's funny. The male slut defending the female slut.
- Kyle McBride: Better a slut than a conniving bitch.
- Amanda Woodward: Or worse, a conniving bitch in some *ugly* ass clothes.
- [Eric has sent Megan flowers]
- Dr. Michael Mancini: [jealous] This is a doctor's office. Patients have allergies, I have allergies.
- Megan Lewis Mancini: No you don't.
- Dr. Michael Mancini: Well, I'm developing them.
- [Taylor wants to go with Michael to his college reunion]
- Dr. Michael Mancini: The answer is no! You're probably too pregnant to travel anyway.
- Taylor Davis McBride: I'm not that delicate!
- Dr. Michael Mancini: No, but you'll probably throw the plane out of balance.
- [about Michael and Kimberly]
- Bruce Teller: Attractive, intelligent-looking, upscale... who are they?
- Amanda Woodward: The Doctors Frankenstein.
- [Amanda on men]
- Amanda: Get used to the fact that even the most perfect, sensitive guy is, bottom line,a dog. I mean, he might be a well-behaved dog, but he still howls at the moon and grabs the first leg he can get ahold of.
- Kyle McBride: I guess he wanted a little more out of the relationship than you did.
- Sydney: Yeah, you can say that again.
- Kyle McBride: I guess he wanted a little more out of the relationship than you did.
- [giving Peter shopping advice]
- Taylor Davis McBride: You never buy your second wife a nicer ring than your first.
- Sydney Andrews Mancini Field: They're either cute and gay, cute and crazy, or worst of all, cute and married.
- Samantha Reilly Campbell: So what are you going to do? Date married men? Baaaaad idea.
- Kyle McBride: You're allright Amanda. I always thought you were a shrieking fish wife, but you're allright.
- Amanda Woodward: Well, you're not so bad yourself for someone I thought of as a hen-pecked know nothing.
- [pause]
- Kyle McBride: Hen-pecked?
- Amanda Woodward: ...know-nothing.
- [about life on the West coast]
- Samantha Reilly Campbell: Everyone out here has this kinky sort of desperation.
- [Amanda's trying to evict Taylor]
- Taylor Davis McBride: There are laws against This. Tenants rights, squaters rights, human rights.
- Amanda Woodward: Well, look who's talking about being human... the most in-human person on Earth.
- Taylor Davis McBride: Oh really, giving up your title so soon?
- Amanda Woodward: Look who's talking about being human, the most in-human person on Earth.
- Taylor Davis McBride: Oh, giving up your title so soon?
- [to Coop, about an unconcious Lexi]
- Dr. Peter Burns: I leave for five minutes and you show up. What is it with you and unconscious women?
- [to Lexi, about their marriage and his affair with Kimberly]
- Dr. Brett "Coop" Cooper: You drove me to Kimberly. Think back, we barely talked, we fought all the time. Come to think of it, even in a coma Kimberly had more sex appeal.
- [At Kyle and Amanda's engagement party]
- Taylor Davis McBride: I think before the main course comes out, that one of you should give a toast to the happy couple. Now, anyone will do, except for the wannabe war-bride Christine. I don't think you'd have anything nice to say, now would you?
- Kyle McBride: Damnit Taylor, I said back off.
- Taylor Davis McBride: Hey! Excuse me if I think it's inappropriate that you bring the girl you've been dreaming about for years here.
- Amanda Woodward: This is none of your business, *waitress*. Now go get us more food.
- [calling Burns, Mancini & Cooper]
- Dr. Michael Mancini: Megan! I need a favor!
- Megan Lewis Mancini McBride: Uh, you have the wrong number!
- Lexi Sterling Cooper: Listen, why don't you do us all a favor and get another helicopter crash or kidnapped?
- Amanda Woodward: You know, Lexi, when I look at you all I see is a bitter woman uncapable of love.
- Lexi Sterling Cooper: Amanda, it's not me you see, it's your own reflection.
- [Jo has removed Richard's towel for the 2nd time]
- Richard Hart: I'm not safe in a towel around you, am I?
- Jane Andrews Mancini: I'm sorry. I've been so distracted lately.
- Jo Beth Reynolds: It's PMS - Post Marriage Syndrome.
- Amanda Woodward: If you're going to kiss me, don't do that pent-up macho anger thing. I don't like bruises.
- Sydney Andrews Mancini Fields: Flirtation is a tough thing. It's like dandruff... you can't always see it, but it's always there.
- Kyle McBride: Syd, I kid you not, you are California incarnate.
- Sydney Andrews Mancini Fields: You mean like, totally hip, totally together?
- Kyle McBride: No, I mean totally spaced-out.
- Alison: You know Jake as well as anyone, and he's supposedly this man of action, but his only solution on how to handle a wigged out Jane is to do nothing. What is that?
- Billy: I find it really weird you coming to me about this.
- Alison: Well I'm 'that' desperate.
- Billy: Well 'that' desperate could lead to Jake throwing another punch at me all right.
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