Quotes

Cecil B. Demented

Honey: How can you be a drug addict in the new millennium? It's so retro.
Lyle: Before I was a drug addict, I had so many different problems. Now I just have one - drugs! Gave my life a real focus.

Fidget: No! I want to go home! I don't want to be in show business anymore!
Cecil: I knew you were the weak one, Fidget. Just remember, your parents liked Godzilla.
Lyle: They wouldn't even let you see R-rated films as a child.
Dinah: They've never even been to a midnight movie.
Chardonnay: They enjoy classic TV sitcoms turned into feature length films.
Cherish: They've never rented a porno movie.
Cecil: And to top it all off, they talk out loud in the theatre once the feature has begun.
Honey: Oh, that really is unforgivable, Fidget.
Fidget: Okay, okay! My parents are the enemies of film!

Cecil: I'm Cecil B. Demented, and you're in my movie. Do not look into the lens and ruin the shot or you will be shot.

Honey: No! Please let me go! I promise I won't tell anyone about your little movie!
Cecil: Little?
Honey: I didn't mean, you know, *little*. I meant, you know, low-budget... ly cult.

Cecil: No one gets laid until we've finished our movie. We're horny, but our film comes first!

Honey: Cherish, this is America, you know. It's a free country. People can make bad movies if they so desire.
Cecil: Not anymore they don't!
Cherish: You think just cause you've made "real" movies you're better than me, don't you?
Honey: Oh, please.
Cherish: Do you know why I became a porno star?
[everyone in van groans]
Cecil: Cherish has recovered memory.
Cherish: When I was ten years old, my entire family fucked me under the Christmas tree.
Honey: I'm so sorry.
Cherish: Yeah, I bet you are... "jingle balls, jingle balls" my stupid brother started singing.
Honey: [laughs]
Cherish: You think that's funny?
Honey: [still laughing] No, I don't.
Cecil: That's all behind you now, Cherish. We're here, and we're makin' movies.

Honey: Raven, you know, you're a really pretty girl. You could escape from all of this madness.
Raven: Escape to what, Honey? I mean, my father is Zo-Zo, the three headed guard dog at the gate to hell.
Honey: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.