Bill Fagerbakke: Patrick Star, Fish #2, Chum Customer, Local Fish
Photos
Quotes
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Patrick Star : SpongeBob, what happened?
SpongeBob SquarePants : Plankton cheated.
Sheldon J. Plankton : Cheated?
[Now to Neptune]
Sheldon J. Plankton : Hold on there, baldy.
[Now to SpongeBob]
Sheldon J. Plankton : Oh, grow up. What, you think this is a game of kickball on the playground? You never had a chance to defeat me, fool! And you know why?
SpongeBob SquarePants : Because you cheated?
Sheldon J. Plankton : No, not because I cheated! Because I'm an evil genius. And you're just a kid.
[laughing]
Sheldon J. Plankton : A stupid kid!
SpongeBob SquarePants : I guess you're right, Plankton.
[looks down]
SpongeBob SquarePants : I am just a kid.
Sheldon J. Plankton : Of course I'm right. Okay, Neptune, time to kill.
SpongeBob SquarePants : And you know, I've been through a lot in the past six days, five minutes, twenty-seven-and-a-half seconds. And if I've learned anything during that time, it's that you are who you are.
Sheldon J. Plankton : That's right. Okay, Neptune...
SpongeBob SquarePants : And no amount of mermaid magic...
[Turns to Mindy]
SpongeBob SquarePants : ... or managerial promotion...
[Turns to the frozen Mr. Krabs]
SpongeBob SquarePants : ... or some other third thing... can make me anything more than what I really am inside: A kid.
Sheldon J. Plankton : That's great. Now, get back against the wall.
SpongeBob SquarePants : [over microphone] But that's okay!
Sheldon J. Plankton : What? What's going on?
SpongeBob SquarePants : Because I did what everyone said a kid COULDN'T do! I made it to Shell City, and I beat the Cyclops, and I rode the Hasselhoff, and I brought the crown BACK!
Sheldon J. Plankton : All right, we get the point.
SpongeBob SquarePants : So, yeah, I'm a kid!
[the lights go down, dry ice smoke surrounds SpongeBob, and a spotlight falls on him]
SpongeBob SquarePants : And I'm also a goofball! And a wing nut! And a Knucklehead McSpazatron!
Sheldon J. Plankton : [coughs from the smoke] What's going on here?
SpongeBob SquarePants : But most of all, I'm...
Sheldon J. Plankton : Okay, settle down. Take it easy!
SpongeBob SquarePants : I'm... I'M...
Sheldon J. Plankton : WHAT THE SCALLOP?
SpongeBob SquarePants : [bursts into song] I'M A GOOFY GOOBER! ROCK!
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Dennis : Finally.
[cracks knuckles]
Dennis : I got you right where I want you.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Can I help you with something, sir?
Dennis : Name's Dennis. I've been hired to exterminate you.
SpongeBob SquarePants : You're gonna exterminate us?
[SpongeBob and Patrick look at each other, then burst out in laughter before wiping their tears]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Listen, Junior. You caught me and my friend here in a good mood today, so I'm gonna let you off with a warning. Step aside, and you won't have to feel the awesome wrath of our mustaches.
Dennis : You mean these?
[grabs the seaweed mustaches off SpongeBob and Patrick's faces]
Dennis : I thought you still had a piece of salad stuck to your lip from lunchtime.
[Throws mustaches as SpongeBob and Patrick's eyes bulge at the sight of them]
SpongeBob SquarePants : They were fake?
Dennis : Of course they were fake! This is what a real mustache looks like.
[Pulls face mask off, grunts to sprout mustach from his upper lip]
Patrick Star : Is he a mermaid?
Dennis : All right. Enough gab.
[approaches SpongeBob and Patrick, who are trembling in fear]
SpongeBob SquarePants : What are you gonna do to us?
Dennis : Plankton was very specific.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Plankton?
Dennis : For some reason, he wanted me to step on you.
Patrick Star : Step on us?
Dennis : Yeah! That way, you'll never find out that he stole the crown!
[SpongeBob and Patrick look at each other]
Dennis : Uhh, perhaps I've said too much.
[extends spikes from the soles of his boots. SpongeBob and Patrick tremble in fear as Dennis positions his boot above them]
Patrick Star : That's a big boot.
Dennis : Don't worry. This'll only hurt a lot!
[laughs]
Dennis : I love this job!
[Continues to laugh, only to be crushed by a bigger boot]
Patrick Star : Bigger boot!
[tries to run away]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Wait, Pat! This bigger boot saved our lives.
Patrick Star : Yay!
SpongeBob SquarePants , Patrick Star : Thank you, stranger!
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King Neptune : [to Spongebob] And as for you, be back with my crown in exactly 10 days.
Patrick Star : [Appears out of nowhere] He can do it in nine.
King Neptune : Eight.
Patrick Star : Seven.
King Neptune : Six
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs , SpongeBob SquarePants : Patrick!
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs : [He and Spongebob attack Patrick]
King Neptune : Six it is then.
Patrick Star : [while being choked by Mr. Krabs] Five?
SpongeBob SquarePants : Patrick, shush!
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Patrick Star : Well, saying you're a kid, it's like saying I'M a kid!
Waiter : Here's your Goober Meal, sir.
Patrick Star : Uh, I'm supposed to get a toy with this?
[toy smacks Patrick in the face]
Patrick Star : Thanks.
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Patrick Star : I LOVE BEING PURPLE!
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Patrick Star : SpongeBob?
[sees him walking away from the trench, defeated]
Patrick Star : Hey, where are you going?
SpongeBob SquarePants : I'm going home, Patrick.
Patrick Star : But what about Mr Krabs?
SpongeBob SquarePants : What about us? WE'LL never survive in that trench! You said it yourself, this is man's country. And let's face it, Pat. We're just... kids.
Patrick Star : We're NOT kids!
SpongeBob SquarePants : OPEN YOUR EYES, PATRICK! We blow bubbles, we eat ice cream - we worship a dancing peanut, for corn's sake! WE DON'T BELONG OUT HERE.
Patrick Star : [defensively] We do NOT worship him!
SpongeBob SquarePants : [pulls Patrick's pants down] Patrick, you've been wearing the same Goofy Goober Peanut Party underpants for three years straight! What do you call that?
Patrick Star : [starts to cry] Worship...? Oh, you're right, SpongeBob! We ARE kids!
[runs away crying, then trips over pulled-down pants]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Pull your pants up, Patrick. We're going home.
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SpongeBob SquarePants : Pull your pants up, Patrick. We're going home.
Mindy : [just arrived in carriage] But you can't go home!
SpongeBob SquarePants : Mindy!
Patrick Star : Mindy?
[frantically pulls up pants before falling over again]
Patrick Star : Huh?
SpongeBob SquarePants : How much did you hear?
Mindy : I heard enough.
Patrick Star : Did you see my underwear?
Mindy : No, Patrick.
Patrick Star : [grabs pants] Did you want to?
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Patrick Star : It's some kind of wall of psychic energy.
SpongeBob SquarePants : No, Pat, it's a giant glass bowl.
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Attendant #1 : You two dipsticks wouldn't last ten seconds over the county line!
SpongeBob SquarePants : Oh, yeah? We'll just see about that.
[they drive over the line; a thief stops them]
Thief : Out of the car, fellas.
[thief drives off with Patty Wagon]
SpongeBob SquarePants : How many seconds was that?
Attendant #2 : Twelve.
SpongeBob SquarePants , Patrick Star : ...IN YOUR FACE!
[start laughing hysterically at attendants before walking away over county line]
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Mindy : [after getting SpongeBob's and Patrick's moustaches] So, now that you're men, can you make it to Shell City?
SpongeBob SquarePants , Patrick Star : [are intrigued by moustaches and weren't listening to Mindy]
Mindy : Guys!
SpongeBob SquarePants , Patrick Star : Yeah?
Mindy : I said, "Now that you're men, can you make it to Shell City?
SpongeBob SquarePants , Patrick Star : Heck, yeah!
Mindy : Are men afraid of anything?
SpongeBob SquarePants , Patrick Star : Heck, no!
Mindy : And why?
SpongeBob SquarePants , Patrick Star : Because we're invincible!
[both jump off cliff]
Mindy : [calling after them] I never said that!
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Dennis : [about to step on Spongebob and Patrick] That's IT! I'm through with messing around! See ya later fools!
Patrick Star : [Dennis suddenly collides with a floating sailboat and falls into the ocean] See ya.
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SpongeBob SquarePants : [crying in bar, then sits up] Alright, get it together, old boy. I know, I'll just stop thinking about it.
[pause]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Hey, you know, I actually feel a little better. I don't even remember why I was sad!
Patrick Star : Hey, it's the new Krusty Krab 2 manager!
[SpongeBob starts crying again]
Patrick Star : Wow, the pressure's already setting in.
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SpongeBob SquarePants : Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. Patrick, Squidward and I...
Squidward Tentacles : [Leaving] Pass.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Uh, Patrick and I...
Patrick Star : Hi.
SpongeBob SquarePants : ...will bring back the crown and save you from Neptune's wrath. You have nothing to worry about. Your life is in our hands.
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs : [worried] Ohh!
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Patrick Star : Hey, look. Free ice-cream.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Oh, boy!
[SpongeBob runs to the "ice-cream booth" surrounded by piles of bones and skulls]
Patrick Star : [to a skull] How you doing?
[Looks around and sees the piles of bones and skulls]
Patrick Star : Wait a minute. Wait a minute! SPONGEBOB!
SpongeBob SquarePants : Yeah?
Patrick Star : Make mine a chocolate!
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SpongeBob SquarePants : [after Mindy turns Patrick and Spongebob into men] Huh. I don't feel anything differ... oh my gosh, Patrick, you have a mustache!
Patrick Star : So do you!
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Mindy : Good luck, Spongebob!
SpongeBob SquarePants : Wait, how did you know my name?
Mindy : Oh, I'm going to be queen of the sea someday! I've been learning the names of all the sea creatures.
Patrick Star : What's my name?
Mindy : That's easy! You're Patrick Star!
Patrick Star : [blushes and laughs, lovestruck]
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SpongeBob SquarePants : Feast your eyes, Patrick.
Patrick Star : What is it?
SpongeBob SquarePants : The Patty Wagon. Mr. Krabs uses it for promotional reasons. Let me show you some of its features: Sesame seed finish; steel-belted pickles; grilled leather interior; and under the hood, a fuel-injected French fryer with dual overhead grease traps.
Patrick Star : Wow.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Yeah. Wow.
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[the gas attendants are laughing at SpongeBob, Patrick and the Patty Wagon]
Patrick Star : Are they laughing at us?
SpongeBob SquarePants : No Patrick, they're laughing next to us.
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Patrick Star : Can I have everybody's attention?... I have to use the bathroom.
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SpongeBob SquarePants : And after the promotion ceremony, we're gonna party till we're purple.
Patrick Star : Yay! I love being purple!
SpongeBob SquarePants : We're going to the place where all the action is.
Patrick Star : You don't mean...?
SpongeBob SquarePants : Oh, I mean.
SpongeBob SquarePants , Patrick Star : Goofy Goobers Ice Cream Party Boat!
SpongeBob SquarePants , Patrick Star : [singing] Oh, I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah / You're a Goofy Goober, yeah / We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah / Goofy, goofy, Goober, goober, yeah!
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Patrick Star : [Flies in naked with a parachute] Lets hear it for SPONGEBOB!
[Everyone runs away]
Patrick Star : Hello? Where'd everybody go? Did I miss something? Did you see my butt?
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SpongeBob SquarePants : Run, Patrick!
Patrick Star : No. I'm tired of running. If we run now, we'll never st...
[Dennis swats him aside]
Patrick Star : Aaaah! Run, SpongeBob!
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SpongeBob SquarePants : Oh, no, how will we ever get back to Bikini Bottom now?
David Hasselhoff : I can take you there.
[Hasselhoff comes running up in slow motion]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Who are you?
David Hasselhoff : I'm David Hasselhoff.
Patrick Star , SpongeBob SquarePants : Hooray!
SpongeBob SquarePants : So, uh, where's your boat?
David Hasselhoff : Boat?
[laughs]
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Patrick Star , SpongeBob SquarePants : [after finding their car finally, they both say in a high voice] Ah!
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SpongeBob SquarePants : Sorry to rain on your parade, Plankton.
Plankton : Oh, don't worry about me. My parade will be quite dry, under my... umbrella!
[pulls on a chain]
SpongeBob SquarePants , Mindy , Patrick Star : Umbrella?
[a Chum Bucket bucket helmet drops on Neptune]
Mindy : Daddy, no!
Plankton : Daddy, yes!
[pushes button on remote]
King Neptune : [Bucket activates] All hail Plankton.
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SpongeBob SquarePants : You still have that bag of winds, buddy?
Patrick Star : [Shows a bulge on his backside] Sure do.
[Both laugh]
Patrick Star : [Pulls out bag of wind, but not from the bulge] Here you go.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Uh...
Patrick Star : What?
SpongeBob SquarePants : Nothing, nothing. Now, let's go over those instructions. Let's see, it says here; Step one: hold bag away from home.
Patrick Star : [Holds bag away] Okay.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Step two: plant feet firmly on ground.
Patrick Star : [Plant feet firmly on ground] Right.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Step three: pull out string, releasing the winds.
Patrick Star : Check.
[pulls string; bag slips from hands and flies away]
SpongeBob SquarePants : [to himself] It seems simple enough. Hold bag away from home, plant feet firmly on ground, pull out string releasing wind.
[to Patrick]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Okay, let's do it for real.
Patrick Star : Uh, SpongeBob?
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Patrick Star : Never mind the car, where's the road, road, road, road, road, road, road, road, roa...?
[realizes he's repeating himself]
Patrick Star : Sorry.
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SpongeBob SquarePants : We should be there in one more verse.
SpongeBob SquarePants , Patrick Star : [singing] Now that we're men...
Dennis : [interrupting the singing] Finally!
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Patrick Star : [after flying in naked and crashing] Did you see my butt?
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SpongeBob SquarePants : [riding a swimming David Hasslehoff] Go Hasslehoff!
Patrick Star : Next stop Bikini Bottom!
