Evan Almighty (2007)

Wanda Sykes: Rita

Photos 

Quotes 

• Rita : [upon seeing Evan's beard]  Evan, what happened? Did you fall in a mine shaft?

  Evan Baxter : No.

  Rita : Did you just come out of a coma?

  Evan Baxter : No.

  Rita : Were you attacked by a werewolf?

  Evan Baxter : No, I wasn't.

  Rita : Well, if you were going for that rugged look, I think you over-shot it.

• Rita : The way things are going, if he gets any crazier, we might end up in the White House.

• [Rita voices her disbelieve in Evan's ark] 

  Rita : Look, I go to church every Sunday.

  [Evan doesn't believe her] 

  Rita : Every "other" Sunday.

  [Evan still doesn't believe her] 

  Rita : I've been to church!

• Evan Baxter : Get on the Ark! Everyone on the Ark, now!

  Marty : I think we should get on the Ark.

  Eugene : I agree. I think we should get on the Ark, also.

  Rita : I'm cold, I'm wet, I'm going home.

  [the dam breaks and a wall of water comes at them] 

  Rita : Ladies first! Move!

• Rita : [seeing Evan successfully calling all the animals to the ark]  I can't even get my cat to use the litter box.

• Rita : Why do you sound like Evan Baxter but look like a Bee Gee?

• Rita : [after seeing an alpaca spit green stuff]  If that comes out your front, I don't even want to know what's coming out the back.

• Rita : [Evan's clothes have changed into his Noah outfit]  Did you just make a wardrobe change? This isn't the Oscars. You're not Whoopi.

• Rita : [looking up at the Ark which is almost finished]  Why couldn't the man just buy a Corvette?

• Rita : [after Eugene has said too much]  Can I tase him?

• Evan Baxter : [he enters his new office]  This is nice.

  Rita : It's too nice. There's something crooked going on around here.

  [sarcastically sniffs] 

  Rita : Do you smell anthrax?

• [Rita sees over the security camera that Evan has shown up to the House conference meeting with his beard braided] 

  Rita : Evan, what are you doing? You have a pony tail on your face! What are you gonna do next? Cornrow your eyebrows?

• Rita : Have you been shootin' up Rogaine?

• Rita : [Referring to Evan Baxter]  There he is! The head honcho. The big Kahuna.

• Evan Baxter : These birds had a big meal earlier.

  Rita : Want me to get my BB gun?

• Congressman Chuck Long : [stunned]  How?

  Evan Baxter : The dam. Your reservoir broke, Prestige Crest is no more.

  Congressman Chuck Long : No, they said that couldn't happen, they... you did this, you set me up! You crazy son of a b...

  [Long gets spit up on by an alpaca] 

  Rita : [to the alpaca]  If that comes out your front, I don't even want to know what's coming out the back.

  [Behind Evan, wolves begin growling lowly; Long steps back in fear] 

  Evan Baxter : Don't look down, Congressman, but the wolves are here, although I wouldn't worry so much about these wolves as those.

  [Long turns around to face a bunch of angry Congressmen who've heard of his deception]