Ride to Hell: Retribution

Yahtzee: Fans of The Last of Us, I feel a wedge has been driven between you and I. I know you were afraid that The Last of Us was some kind of beached whale that would die if not continually moistened by everybody's tongues, but it's not easy for me either, having a contentious opinion. When The Last of Us started losing me, I wasn't rubbing my fingerless-gloved hands in glee, I was thinking "Ugh... I'm gonna get some real fucking stimulating email over this, aren't I?" I feel some kind of bonding exercise would help clear the air, and what would be better than a hunting expedition? So please, load up your shotguns, join me around this barrel, and let's take it out on some motherfucking fish! This is how I unwind after stressful times. I review a game that absolutely no one expected to be good and which entirely meets those expectations, namely Ride to Hell: Retribution 1%. If you're wondering, the 1% is an outlaw biker gang thing referring to a statement once made that 99% of motorbike riders are law-abiding citizens. It does not mean that the bikers have all gotten rich from trading stock in the knife-fighting industry. Yes, it's a biker-themed action-adventure, melee, shooty, ridey-bikey affair, sort of like Full Throttle if it had absolutely zero self-awareness and if all the horrible action minigames had grown and taken over everything else like an inoperable cancer.