Table of Contents

1. Reflection Essay

The reflection essay includes my experience as a reader and writer this semester and

discusses how the writing in my portfolio demonstrates my abilities.

2. Literary Analysis Essay

The essay carefully examines a work of literature for its deeper meaning. The essay

identifies how the body is portrayed in Between the World and Me and shows what the

writer suggests with this thematic attitude.

3. Persuasive essay

The essay is written as a eulogy praising Anthony Bourdain's life and his impact in the

culinary world.

4. Profile essay

The essay offers information and description about Frida Kahlo in a manner that is

guaranteed to be enlightening to the reader.

Word count: 4280 words

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Reflection Essay

Painting Words

Writing is painting a canvas with words. I thought people wrote to immortalize

history and deliver the daily news, to create fictional words and give life to fantasies.

However, I never thought people wrote to turn their dreams into words and their most

intimate thoughts into stories. Through the course, I learned how to write properly, but

most importantly I learned how to connect. I learned how to fit myself into an A4 word

sheet; I learned to read the essence of my peers between the lines; I learned to sculpt hope

and anger into a sentence. Completing the essays for my ePortafolio was a challenge; I

had to scream without making any noise and describe undefinable feelings.

As a reader, I was able to visit exciting places, wear new skins, and envision

diverse dreams. Each class we exchanged our essays with the person next to us, and

although we were trading just papers, it felt as if we were trading opportunities. The

opportunity to try to fit inside the shoes of someone else and think differently for a minute

or two. For instance, I was surprised to know that the revolutionary act of Nadeem was

to talk with a girl. I must admit that due to the fact that I attended an all-boys high school,

I was also pretty nervous the first time I addressed a girl. However, by no means would I

consider saying “Hi” the most rebellious act of my life. So there was Nadeem,

reintroducing me the world. In some countries talking to a girl can truly become a life or

death experience. By reading I did not only became aware of new perspectives, but I was

also able to experience the things I took for granted with a different point of view. For

instance, after reading Ege Usel’s essay, I realized that although seeing was a mundane

activity for me, for others it was a miracle. Through the course, I learned to read. At 11

years old I learned to pronounce sentences out loud, and a few weeks ago I learned to

extract the soul of the writer out of the sentences. I learned to truly read.
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As a future engineer I am interested in science and technology; I enjoy building

hands-on projects and printing 3D-objects. Thus, I never thought I would develop such a

passion for writing. The first time we received an assignment I was truly scared. I have

ridden some of the most frightening rollercoasters and swam with sharks in the Caribbean.

However, writing the first assignment was probably one of the most terrifying events of

my life. And I couldn’t stop thinking, “Will I do it right?” And, to be honest, the first time

I wrote the assignment I didn’t do it right. But it was not about getting it right on your

first attempt; it was about painting my essence on a paper. It was about drinking a

Bohemia beer with Frida or visiting Italia with Bourdain, it was about traveling to the 60s

and analyzing the history of African Americans, it was about sharing one's unpopular

opinions and rebellious acts. And because of all that I fell in love with writing.

At the beginning of the semester the teacher asked us why we wrote. And in that moment

I had absolutely no clue. I wrote because I was taught so when I was 11-years-old. That was it.

My detailed and profound explanation. However, if the teacher asks me that right now, I will not

be able to describe it with only a few words. I write to be remembered. I have discussed my

thoughts with many colleges and shared my dreams with my friends; however, only by

writing my ideas down, I assure that these will be remembered. People´s memory is not

as reliable as that of a piece of paper. I write to communicate with others, to be read. I

write hoping that in the future someone reads these words and understand what I am trying

to convey. I write because when I do so, I can express my feelings freely, without

judgment. The paper has never frowned its eyebrows as my father does when I mention

something he disagrees on; the pencil has never walked away from me as I was finishing

a sentence. When I write I am completely honest with myself and why my thoughts, I

don´t feel ashamed or limited in any way. I have an innovative mind; any event can trigger

different lines of thought and ideas in my head. Although very imaginative, they only last
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a few minutes. Thus, I take advantage of this wave of creativity by writing my thoughts

down. Through the course I did not only improve my writing skills, but I also gave them a sense

of purpose.

Literary Analysis Essay

The Disembodiment of African Americans
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The Loss of Body in Between the World and Me

Between the 17 and 19 century, African Americans were not treated as people
th th

but property; they were not seen as humans, but cotton. Thus, did they have bodies? Or

had they lost them, withered to the heat of the sun? Nowadays, black bodies are killed

because of listening to music or selling cigarettes. However, is losing a body limited to

its death? Currently, mass incarceration and political injustice have become the

executioners of black bodies. The constant threat of racist violence and the imprisonment

are a kind of metaphorical death that deprives African Americans of their freedom. And

can a person without freedom control their body? The reflection on the American social

reality in Ta-Nehisi Coates´ book Between the World and Me answers these inquiries and

reveals the threats and fears black bodies experience in a white supremacist

world. Through an epistolary to his son Samori, Coates offers a new understanding of

American racial history. In Between the World and Me, Coates personal story shows that

the loss of African American identities has become an underlying base of America´s

social structure. As part of the legacy of slavery, blacks inherit the loss of their bodies at

birth, which is later reaffirmed through abuses and discrimination. Oppressing African

Americans has become a tradition white supremacist refuse to acknowledge but put into

practice every day, which currently hinders black individuals from regaining control of

their bodies.

It can be interpreted that white people romanticize American history to avoid

acknowledging the loss of black bodies. The Dream is Coates personal interpretation of

the American Dream, which traditionally refers to the idea that America was built on

freedom and equality. However, America was actually built through the enslavement and

mistreatment of black individuals. For instance, the Constitution, a founding document

of America, protected the unequal treatment. It stated that Congressional representation

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should be based "on the whole Number of free Persons", depriving African Americans

from a voice. The problem with the tendency to presents the world in a more comforting

light is that it encourages people to turn a blind eye to racism. Thereby, racism persists.

Coates explains that the Dream has been made “to deny you and me the right to secure

and govern our own bodies” (Coates 8). Coates asserts that an erroneous understanding

of American history causes African American disembodiment. If society willfully forgets

that black people did not always have a body, then the disembodiment persists. When

Coates observes that currently “the Dream rests on our backs, the bedding made from our

bodies” making clear that mere existence of the Dream avoids black individuals from

regaining control over their bodies. (11) Only by first accepting that America was built

through slavery will the black community initiate the path to regain their bodies. In turn,

using memory as a medicine African Americans can heal from the unacknowledged and

unspeakable acts in American. However, as long as the white mythologization of

American history persists, the destruction of black bodies will continue to be the basic

structure of American society.

Furthermore, when African American slaves lost their bodies, so did their future

descendants. Past African American generations lost their autonomy to slavery causing

future black people to born without a body. Taking into consideration that one can not

bequeath what one does not have, black descendants cannot inherit control over their

bodies because their past generations lost this sovereignty. Before African Americans are

even born, they have already surrendered their self-domain to white people. Coates

arguments that “perhaps that was, is, the hope of the movement: to awaken the Dreamers”

can be interpreted as a means through which the black community could regain control

over their bodies (146). The Dream obscures the racist reality of the country, preventing

black people from regaining the control of their bodies. By denying the national reality
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and creating a false impression of the country, white individuals encourage racism and

oppression against the black community. For African Americans to regain control over

their bodies, the American society must accept the immense racial injustice and violence.

Only when white people awake from the Dream and acknowledge the true history of

America, will black individuals free themselves from the burdens they withstand.

Additionally, it can be interpreted that America has blinded itself to believe that

race is a natural truth and therefore racism and the loss of black bodies are natural as well.

Coates stresses that “Americans believe in the reality of ‘race’ as a defined, indubitable

feature of the natural world. Racism—the need to ascribe bone-deep features to people

and then humiliate, reduce, and destroy them—inevitably follows from this inalterable

condition” on the grounds that race was created as a justification for the racist acts

committed (7). Although it is commonly stated that racism results from race; actually race

results from racism. The myth of race is the foundation of the loss of black bodies and

white supremacy. By understanding race as a natural fact defined by physical

characteristics, America has segregated its society into two constructs: whiteness and

blackness. While whiteness is linked with power, blackness is rooted with violence and

oppression. Thus, racial divisions are not natural facts, but human inventions that have

caused the loss and destruction of black bodies.

As it is palpable through history many groups of people that were not considered

white before, such as the Catholics or Jews, have fallen into the category over time. This

flexibility of the white identity shows that the racial categories are an invention of

humanity. White people achieved their whiteness through flaying and slavery; currently,

they maintain it with oppression and violence. Thus, white people are not actually white,

but rather they think of themselves as white because the idea of whiteness gives them

power and privileges. On the other hand, Coates states that blackness only gives African
 8

Americans disadvantages (107). Unlike whiteness, the idea of blackness places black

people at the end of the scale holding, serving as the mass of people in which the

privileged white groups stand. Thus, until racialization is acknowledged as a false science

the loss of black bodies will persist.

Moreover, Coates description of the destruction of black bodies could be

explained by the racist trends white people unconsciously inherit. Throughout American

history, black bodies have been beaten, tortured, raped, and murdered. These violent acts

have weakened African Americans, resulting in their fragile bodies and constant fear.

Coates affirms “; America, it is traditional to destroy the black body--it is heritage”

referring to the constant threat of violence black people face (103). As part of their culture,

white people have inherited the inclination to mistreat black individuals. These negative

stereotypes cause black people to be perpetually at risk. Coates emphasizes that each

black body is a breathing human being, its individuality rests on dreams and desires;

however, its fate and safety awaits in the hands of white people. Through a metaphorical

expression, Coates explains what motivates white people to destroy black bodies, “There

is no them without you, and without the right to break you they must necessarily fall from

the mountain, lose their divinity, and tumble out of the Dream.” (105). Thus, white people

break the body of African Americans to show their power and reinforce their supremacy.

Because they are abused and discriminated by white individuals, black people live with

constant fear and lose the freedom to govern their bodies.

Finally, it can also be stated that education was used to indoctrinate African

Americans into accepting the loss of their bodies. The core mission of American

education is to suppress and control black children. For example, schools twist the history

of black people in America to keep the black community distressed, without making

questions or uprising for their rights. Black people could fight the system, unveil the
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Dream. On the contrary, the majority yield the control of their bodies without a fight

because during their childhood they were disciplined to do so. . For instance, schools

teach children about nonviolent Civil Rights leaders to encourage African American

students to accept the violence that surrounds them and reject the possibility of violent

resistance. It is important to highlight that the violence that surrounds us is only 30 feet

away from the classroom, since policemen surround most low-income schools. Through

Coates assertion “I sensed the schools were hiding something, drugging us with false

morality . . .” it is evidenced that schools are a racist institution that fosters the acceptance

of black disembodiment (26). Education works as another instrument of oppression that

terrorized black individuals and suffocates them with lies and myths. For instance,

students are taught that the Constitution is fair and equal and that the country was built

on freedom and opportunity, when neither of these statements is true. America´s racist

society disregards black bodies and destroys them psychologically at their most

vulnerable stage: childhood. White people hinder blacks from learning because it is

knowledge which dissipates the myths that build on racism and oppression. By reveling

the truth about the Dream, will the pave the path to black community regain their bodies.

Though African Americans were once in control of their bodies, they have lost

them to slavery and oppression. The racist trends fostered by the Dream reaffirm this loss.

As a result, American society has become an atmosphere in which black bodies live under

constant fear. For black individuals to regain control over their bodies, white people must

accept and acknowledge the true history of America and the racist acts that have been

committed. However, if that does not happen then those who consider themselves as white

will continue to plunder and destroy black bodies until there is no black body left to hold

the Dream.
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Work Cited

Coates, Ta-Nehisi. Between the World and Me. First edition. New York: Spiegel & Grau,

. 2015.
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Persuasive Essay
The Indiana Jones of Food

I never imagined I would spend a day in the life of a South African taxi driver,

watch hijabs and bikinis shamelessly coexist until I met Bourdain. I grew up in Peru, and

Anthony Bourdain taught me more about my own country in an episode of Parts

Unknown than my history teacher did in the three years I took her class. I knew Disney….

that’s about it. My family did not travel much I had not explored foreign countries nor

tasted vivid cultures, besides that of “It is a small world.”

I imagined him as the strongest man alive the only one who could submerge into

conflict zones and emerge without a scratch. And I thought, in my naïve mind, ¨Bourdain

must be the Indiana Jones of food¨. He survived bombings and gunshots in Beirut,

overcame a cholera outbreak and a hurricane in Haiti, endured the persecution of the

secret police in Iran. It was not until I read his memoir Kitchen Confidential that I realized

Bourdain’s fragility. “I was utterly depressed. I lay in bed all day, immobilized by guilt,

fear, shame and regret, my ashtrays overflowing with butts, unpaid bills stacked

everywhere, dirty clothes heaped in the corners” (Bourdain 78). And that vulnerability

reminded me that the man who ate the world for a living was still one of us, a human

being. Bourdain, in all imperfections, undertook his own internal battles. So yes, the most

terrifying enemy of my gastronomic Indiana Jones was not a CGI boulder, but an unstable

past. However, in my eyes that did not make him any less fantastic, it just made him a

person.

Bourdain shared with us the challenges of dealing with depression and his

struggles with addiction. In a world where truth is twisted and covered in a blink of an

eye, Bourdain offered us the naked reality of countries, cultures, and, most importantly,

himself. He never lied or exaggerated, through his disarming honesty he presented us his
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natural charisma and destructive vices. And we loved him for that. We connected with

him. He was no longer another chef on TV; he was a person who had flaws, aspirations,

and fears. He was someone like us. Imperfect, and yet perfectly human. It was his brutal

honesty and unapologetic humanity what made Bourdain’s demons part of his charm.

I once heard on TV Anthony Bourdain said to the AP News “If you think about

who the audience is and what their expectations might be, I think that's the road to badness

and mediocrity” (Bourdain. Personal Interview. 2008). Although he was referring to Parts

Unknown, this is how Bourdain lived his life: being provocatively authentic. Bourdain

lived a life of no fear. He was not afraid of what people may think or the perils he could

encounter in his journeys; he was real. Not even for the book cover of Kitchen

Confidential did he change his looks, he appeared leaning against a wall with sauce

splashes on his sleeves and a dirty apron you could nearly smell out of the book cover.

He showed us the raw humanity of the food industry just by being himself.

Bourdain was a passionate man. He did not intend to step into the white light of

the world stage; he did it by accident, doing what he loved. I can't help but smile thinking

it was all due to an oyster. In his bestseller novel, Kitchen Confidential, he recalls his

family trip to the French coast, where he experienced the proudest moment of his young

life. Monsieur Saint-Jour, a fisherman, had invited the family to eat a raw oyster that had

just been extracted from the sea. Bourdain, honoring his bold personality, volunteered to

eat it first. “I took it in my hand, tilted the shell back into my mouth … and with one bite

and a slurp, wolfed it down. It tasted seawater… of brine and flesh… and somehow… of

the future. I’d not only survived – I’d enjoyed. This, I knew, was the magic I had until

now only dimly and spitefully aware of. I was hooked” (Bourdain, 9). Who would have

known that years later he would be making us taste our own oysters, awakening our senses

and expanding our horizons?

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I will always remember Bourdain as the man who made me taste food I was

reluctant to, who made me experience adventures I thought I couldn’t have, who made

me travel to places I hadn’t plan on. He issued my passport and visa, taking me to

countries I could not even pronounce. I shopped for dinner in a local roman market while

trans ladies danced around me; I submerged in a quest for the ‘Missing Bourdain’ in

mysterious Paraguay; I stand in the intersection between the Old and the New World,

walking through the country where Moroccans lived and dreaming of the Oriental fantasy

foreigners conceived. Of all the unexpected nations my favorite was Iran, not because of

the food, rather due to the new perspective Bourdain gave me. Before I watched him talk

to Iranians and walked the streets of Tehran, my only connection with the country were

the newspaper articles. In my mind, Iran was the country where the opposition was sent

to prison, and ethnic conflicts wandered through the streets. “I am so confused It …

wasn’t supposed to be like this. Of all the places, of all the countries, all the years of

traveling, it’s here, in Iran, that I am greeted most warmly by total strangers” (“Iran”

00:00:28 – 00:00:42). In that episode I saw a story different from the one the papers tell;

I saw friendly locals and passersby receiving Bourdain with sincere smiles and offers of

assistance. Above all, Bourdain took off the blindfold from my eyes and showed me a

parallel reality, as real as the one the newspapers portray.

However, Bourdain did not limit himself to show cultures and countries; he

connected us with them. In a generation accustomed to the false sense of connection that

social media gives, Bourdain was able to truly unify people from all around the world,

including from the most unexpected places. His TV shows did not only portrayed plates,

but instead, they also focused on the people that prepared them, the cultures that

influenced them, and the society that shaped them. He transformed the simple act of
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sharing meals into an adventure and took us with him on a journey to uncover the soul of

cities through their cuisines.

Bourdain expanded our horizons, minds, and palates in uniform measures. By

showing how the diversity that identifies us can unite us, he taught us to set our

prejudice aside for an opportunity to meet the people underneath the clothes. Bourdain

gave us the naked realities of the world that we didn’t know we needed. He showed us

how influential an oyster can be, how awakening asking a question can feel, and how

mesmerizing the world that surrounds us can become if we give it a closer look.

Although I never personally met Bourdain, today I feel as if I have lost a friend.

Eating with him on Sunday evenings as we uncovered remote places is an activity I will

undoubtedly miss. What other man would think that the best place to entertain a world

leader is a traditional, funky family ran noodle shop? What other man could open us a

window to the unknown events occurring behind kitchen doors? What other man would

treat passersby as friends and food as an adventure? Yes, we lost a brilliant man, a unique

storyteller, a candid chef, and, above all, a damn remarkable human being.

However, we need to be thankful since he transformed foreign nations into homes,

plates into experiences, and himself into our friend. It was not about the sausages we ate

in Spain or the lobster we dinned in Scotland; it was about how these dishes reflected a

country's culture. It was about connection; about the relationships shaped through the

sharing of a meal. He challenged us to be rebellious and see the realities beyond the plates.

“Everyone should see how complicated, how deeply troubled, and yet at the same time

beautiful and awesome the world can be.” (“Beirut” 00:49:22 – 00:49:36). And thanks to

Bourdain we saw it.

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Bourdain brought the world to my living room. He led me down unknown streets

into the heart of cities, where locals danced, ate, and laughed. He showed me that the

difference between me eating Ceviche and a Shanghainese eating “you bao xia” is only

the place we are sitting. He was right when he wrote, “As you move through this life and

this world you change things slightly, you leave marks behind, however small,” because

although his trip has ended, he left us his mark behind: one hell of an adventure (Bourdain

2).

Works Cited

“Beirut.” Parts Unknown: Season 04, written by Anthony Bourdain, directed by Tom . .

. Vitale and CNN, 2015.

Bourdain, Anthony. Kitchen Confidential. New York: Bloomsbury Publishing, 2000.

Bourdain, Anthony. The Nasty Bits: Collected Varietal Cuts, Usable Trim, Scraps, and .

. Bones. New York: Bloomsbury Publishing, 2006.

“Iran.” Parts Unknown: Season 04, written by Anthony Bourdain, directed by Tom Vitale

. and CNN, 2014.

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Eduardo Huerta-Mercado
Personal Essay Frida Kahlo
Word Count: 918
A Woman in Rebellion
The undefinable spectacle of Frida

The first time I saw Frida she was running through the forest with the body of a

male dear. It didn’t take me more than a few seconds admiring The Wounded Deer painting

to realize she was not an ordinary woman. Several arrows were sticking from her bleeding

back as she tried to leap a perfect arc. And I couldn´t help but wonder, will she complete

the leap? The deer wanted to move about the forest as she desired. She wanted to drink

tequila at nights and wore male clothes in evenings, practiced boxing for fun and kissed

other girls for pleasure. The deer needed to be free. However, in an effort to hold her back,

she had been shot multiple times by the arrows of society. She was sexually abused at

school, judged for lighting up a cigarette, and cheated on more times than she could count.

However, the deer did not stumble or bend from the arrows; she was still mid-jump. No

amount of pain or oppression could hold her back from acting freely because “at the end of

the day we can endure much more than we think we can” (Frida, “Frida” 01:30:38-

01:30:43). The deer was no ordinary woman; she was Frida Kahlo. And suddenly I was

sure that the deer would complete the leap.

We made Frida Kahlo a legend when all she wanted to be was an independent

woman. My mother taught me who she was long before I could comprehend the power her

body entailed. Where I saw a woman with a unibrow and a cigarette in hand, many so an

icon. I did not understand. Why was she revolutionary? Why was she different? As I

matured, I realized that it was not about her mustache or vivid clothes, it was about what

these features stood up for. It was about the cultural identity her Tehuana clothing

embraced, the wild feel her shocking self-portraits provoked, and the rebuke to
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conventional standards of beauty her mustache and unibrow symbolized. It was not about

the polio she contracted or the near-fatal car accident in which she broke her spine and

shattered her pelvis; it was about how she overcame her sicknesses and injuries and took

the world by storm with her courage and unique vision.

Through her self-portraits, she offered us a personal and social remark, both evident

and subtle. "They thought I was a surrealist but I wasn't. I never painted dreams. I painted

my own reality” (Time Magazine. “Mexican Autobiography” Time 27 April. 1953: 92.

Print.) And she was right. Frida deviated from the conventional representation of female

beauty in art to paint the raw and honest experiences women faced. In a generation

accustomed to ignoring taboo subjects such as breastfeeding and miscarriage, Frida shed

light on real female experiences that were being disregarded. We shared her sorrow in the

Henry Ford Hospital as she bled in bed after suffering a natural abortion, we mourned the

loss of her childhood in her bathtub, and supported her as the two Fridas experienced

emotional anguish during her divorce. Frida transformed pain into passion on the canvas,

overcoming the challenges in her life through creativity. Through her art she transcended

her loss and suffering, projecting intimate aspects of herself onto the canvas. “Your

paintings express what everyone feels… That they are alone in pain” (Leon Trotsky,

“Frida” 01:30:54 – 01:31:56).

Frida once said “my paintings are … the frankest expression of myself” (Kahlo,

Frida, Sarah M. Lowe, and Carlos Fuentes. The Diary of Frida Kahlo: An Intimate Self-

Portrait. New York: H.N. Abrams, 1995. Print.), but they were also the frankest expression

of womankind. She painted her deepest essence with eloquence, portraying the intimate

suffering, dreams, and desires of a woman. “I don’t believe… that ever before has a woman

put such an agonized poetry on canvas” (Diego Rivera, “Frida” 1:53:29-1:53:37). In a

society were paintings had to comply with the patriarchal perception of a woman, Frida’s
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self-portraits valued and celebrated characteristics that were considered unfeminine. We sat

with her as she wore a men’s suit, surrounded by the braids she just cut off her hair. We

stood with her in the border of the United States and Mexico as her nipples showed through

her dress and she casually held a lit cigarette in her hand. And we witnessed, alongside the

Virgin of Sorrow, Frida giving birth to herself on bloodied bedsheets. Certainly, Frida

created her own version of beautiful by being fiercely herself, and we fell in love with her

because of that.

Simultaneously disabled, queer, feminist, revolutionary, and proudly Mexicana,

Frida remains a contemporary icon giving a voice to marginalized communities. She took

pride in her sexuality, redefined the female beauty standards, defied gender stereotypes, and

portrayed real female experiences. Frida never complied with the traditional depiction of

Mexican women. She became her own person; a revolutionary person. Her unfettered

paintings were not molded to fit the societally set standards, and neither was her. Frida's

highly colored and passionate life forever changed the status quo of her time. Complex and

layered, Frida Kahlo remains undefinable.

Works Cited

“Frida”, directed by Julie Taymor, and Ventanarosa, written by Gregory Nava, Anna . .

. Thomas, Diane Lake, Clancy Sigal, 2002.

Kahlo, Frida, Sarah M. Lowe, and Carlos Fuentes. The Diary of Frida Kahlo: An Intimate

. Self-Portrait. New York: H.N. Abrams, 1995. Print.

Time Magazine. “Mexican Autobiography” Time 27 April. 1953: 92. Print.

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Profile Essay

Unmarried Women

An Index Finger Without a Ring

The first time I got married I was six years old, and I truly had no idea what it

meant. From a young age, my sister Giuliana held the dream that one day she would find

that one person who would stand by her no matter what, and when she did they would

have a lovely wedding. Finding your soulmate at nine years old is quite unlikely, luckily

my sister had me. So she would place our mother´s white half-slip on her head and walk

towards me, the playing groom. You may think it was a simple and silly game, but it was

not, at least for my sister. Most people would have seen amorphous pieces of paper on

the floor, Oreos on a half-broken plastic plate, and a little girl wearing the oversized white

shoes of her mother. But not my sister. She saw fresh white orchids scattered through the

church, Italian food served on fine china, and a beautiful bride followed by a long veil.

Hopefully for me, as the years went by my sister got tired of marrying me; however, each

time she saw the bouquet in one of our aunts’ weddings her eyes looked like a hunter’s.

And I knew there was a little girl in a white dress living inside my sister.

As I grew older, I realized that my sister was not the only girl who daydreamed of floral-

covered trellises to the sound of “The Bridal Chorus” from R. Wagner. When I saw Carrie

of Four Weddings and a Funeral happily accepting Charles’ proposal of not being

married for the rest of their lives, I was quite confused. There she was, challenging the

four years I spent dressing in my father's tuxedo and the erroneous pre-conceived idea I

had developed regarding marriage. We live in a world that assumes that women must

want to wear a ring on their left hand. So when a girl firmly states that she has no intention

of following tradition, she leaves us speechless. Or at least that is how Carrie left me. And

I thought, "What a fascinating girl." She had the audacity to shun all expectation of what
 20

she should become. Carrie did not need a puffy wedding dress or a red rose bouquet in

her hands to be happy. She was more concerned with genuinely being herself, rather than

complying to the expectations of society. And I loved her for that.

Today, most young girls are taught to look forward to marriage as the apex of their

lives. They are held to the assumption that a wedding is one of the greatest things to be

celebrated when it is not. Women are not defined by their marital status, but by their

unique vision of who they are. Oprah Winfrey, Shonda Rhimes, and Condoleeza Rice are

living examples that no woman needs a man by their side to have a fulfilling and touching

life. Each and every woman that chooses not to marry rebels against more than 100 years

of tradition and a couple of reproaching eyes. By not abiding by the societal pressure of

getting married, these women are paving the way for little girls to grow dreaming of

finding the cure to progeria or engineering the next atmospheric water generator. Women

are much more than a wife, they are ground-breaking scientists and charming actresses,

they are empathetic economists and innovative project developers, they are everything

and anything, all at once.

As a man, I am expected to bend my knee and promise the sun, moon, and stars

to a woman. However, if I do not do it, no one will shake their head in disapproval, or

glare at me with scrutiny. Women, on the other hand, are not only suffering from societal

pressure but as a result of cultural ideologies sometimes they do not even have a choice.

In India there are more than 10 million child brides, who walk down the aisle before even

understanding what marriage means; in China, women are being trafficked from

neighboring countries to become future brides; and in Pakistan woman say “I do” fully

aware that otherwise they risk being ostracized from their communities. Unmarried

women are free and rebellious spirits, who are willing to die for their independence. And

we should not forget them. We should remember the 11-year-old Yemeni girl that fled
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home to avoid forced marriage, the Pakistani woman who was set on fire for refusing a

marriage proposal, and the South Sudanese girl who was beaten to death by her brothers

for refusing to marry a man who offered 40 cows to the family. And we should remember

these woman because by refusing to marry, they changed the trajectory of the lives of so

many other women in the world. And we should thank them, for not only confronting

their families, traditions, grooms, but for confronting history, a history that said women

were only worthy as wives.

With the years my sister became a talented tennis player, a brilliant economist,

the empathic founder of a NGO, and a loving wife. However, when she got married she

did it with her eyes wide open, knowing that walking through the aisle was not the apex

of her life. And when a woman understands that she has no obligation to marry, and does

it because of love; then, I think she is equally courageous as the woman that decides not

to marry.