The Academy Awards are not just a chance to praise those who have excelled in the field of filmmaking over the past year.
They're also an excuse for multi-millionaires to throw some of the most glamorous parties the world has ever seen, that can come with some bizarre goody bag inclusions too - vaginal rejuvenation, anyone?
From ex-Presidents to global movie icons, here's how the stars will be celebrating before, during and after 2014's Oscars ceremony...
1. unite4:humanity
When & where?: Late afternoon on Thursday at Sony Studios
Who?: Bill Clinton, George Clooney, Robert De Niro, Leonardo DiCaprio, Hugh Jackman, Matt Damon, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, Martin Scorsese, Harrison Ford, Alicia Keys, Forest Whitaker, Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Hollywood's suavest man George Clooney and a former US president in the shape of Bill Clinton are among those expected to celebrate philanthropic achievements of the stars in this extravagant bit of celebrity backslapping.
Selena Gomez will pick up the prestigious Young Humanitarian award, while Robert De Niro, Martin Scorsese and Julia Louis-Dreyfus are also being honoured at the Andy Samberg-hosted event. Alicia Keys and Demi Lovato get awards too, but have to sing first.
2. Red Carpet Green Dress
When & where?: Thursday evening at West Hollywood's Palihouse Holloway Hotel
Who?: James Cameron, Olivia Munn, Kellan Lutz, Alicia Silverstone, Missi Pyle
As you may have guessed from Avatar, James Cameron loves the environment. So much so that, in addition to making men on bulldozers the villains of his box office-busting movie, he and his wife Suzy Amis Cameron (Rose's granddaughter in Titanic) have set up the annual Red Carpet Green Dress competition, which challenges designers from around the world to create eco-friendly awards show outfits.
Among those expected at tonight's party celebrating five years of the competition are Twilight's Kellan Lutz and Bond girl Olga Kurylenko, who will wear this year's winning designs to the Oscars.
3. Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation party and art auction
When & where?: Thursday at the Los Angeles Center of Photography
Who?: Colin Farrell
There are two main reasons why we'd be desperate to go to this party if we were in the US of A. One - The late Elizabeth Taylor is a legend of the silver screen, and it's important to support all the great work she did fighting against such a terrible disease. Two - Colin Farrell will be hosting the art auction, and hopefully he'll say more stuff about their baffling 'affair'. We know that's slightly trashy. Please don't judge us.
4. American Hustle private screening
When & where?: Thursday at Ago restaurant, West Hollywood
Who?: Jennifer Lawrence, David O Russell, Bradley Cooper, Christian Bale, Amy Adams
We pretty much can't think of anything more fun than a '70s-themed cocktail party topped off with a screening of American Hustle. Imagine it, you get to dress up in flares and platform shoes, share a massive cup of colourful, sugary ice shavings with Christian Bale, and physically fondle Bradley Cooper's glorious perm from the Oscar-nominated film, retrieved from the back of his closet for one night only.
Plus, it's in a fancy Italian restaurant, so you know that famous foodie Jennifer Lawrence is going to be on top form as she geeks out over all the pasta dishes.
5. Women In Film: Artistry of Women - pre-Oscar cocktail reception
When & where?: Friday evening at the Fig & Olive restaurant in the actual Melrose Place
Who?: Dame Judi Dench, Helen Mirren, Meryl Streep, Sandra Bullock, Julia Roberts, Jennifer Lawrence, Amy Adams, Cate Blanchett, Lupita Nyong'o
Who runs the showbiz world? Girls, and tomorrow some of Hollywood's most influential women are going to be in one room for an event so awesome, empowering and fabulous that we're not even sure if this is an actual guestlist or that list we keep of celebrities we absolutely want to become friends with before we die. Even if we ended up too in awe of the ladies to speak to any of them (which is a definite possibility), we'd attend for the freebies alone, which include flutes of Perrier-Jouet champagne and MAC Cosmetics gift boxes. Amazing!
6. The Great British Film Reception
When & where?: Friday at the private residence of the British Consul General
Who?: Helen Mirren, Steve McQueen, Christian Bale, Steve Coogan, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Sally Hawkins, Stephen Moyer, Ed Westwick, Jane Seymour, Jared Harris
We're pretty sure that any British actors in Hollywood snubbing this party can be legally put on trial for treason. 12 Years a Slave director Steve McQueen is being honoured for his contribution to British cinema at the shindig, while fellow homegrown nominees at this year's Oscars, including Christian Bale, Steve Coogan, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Sally Hawkins, will likely have a toast raised to them too.
The Great British Film Reception also boasts probably the most eclectic guestlist of Oscar week, with Dominic Monaghan, Dustin Lance Black (aka Mr Tom Daley), Gordon Ramsay, Sophie 'Big Suze' Winkleman and Kevin Bishop (?!) among the others down to attend. No word yet on whether miniature pie and mash and jellied eels will be served as canapés.
7. The Night Before Party
When & where?: Saturday at the Beverly Hills Hotel, Sunset Boulevard
Who?: Everyone!
The Night Before Party has garnered something of a reputation in LA for being particularly raucous. Unlike at the Oscars themselves, the relatively lax dress code means the stars don't have to worry about sloshing booze all over irreplaceable Versace gowns or being on their best behaviour for the watching press.
Pretty much all of Hollywood turns out for this ultimate pre-party every year, getting hammered to help out the Motion Picture and Television Fund, which helps the retired members of showbiz
8. Vanity Fair party
When & where?: Late evening on Sunday on Sunset Boulevard
Who?: George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Idris Elba, Margot Robbie, Naomie Harris, Lupita Nyong'o, Chiwetel Ejiofor
An Oscar night tradition, this year's Vanity Fair party is set to be bigger and better than ever before, moving from the Sunset Tower to a brand new venue that can accommodate the mammoth guest list. Over 1,000 people have turned up to the Academy Awards bash in the past, so it's no wonder that George Clooney, Julia Roberts and Idris Elba have got their RSVPs in early (though we doubt they'd ever be turned away). If Margot Robbie's picked up any partying tips from filming The Wolf of Wall Street, it should be a wild one.
9. Sir Elton John's party
When & where?: Sunday at West Hollywood Park
Who?: Everyone!
A host of incredible stars, including Katy Perry, Judi Dench, Nicole Kidman, Steven Tyler and The Osbournes, have agreed to attend the Elton John AIDS Foundation Party despite the fact they'll have to listen to a performance from Ed Sheeran - that's how good a bash this promises to be.
The 'Rocket Man's event is always the best source of post-Oscars showbiz gossip - last year's party saw Heidi Klum almost flash, Jim Carrey wear massive feet and Miley Cyrus smooch up a storm.
10. Madonna's party
When & where?: Sunday at the private residence of her manager Guy Oseary
Who?: Madonna... more to be announced
Aside from the obvious thrill of getting to party with a pop icon, we want to go to Madonna's party just to count heads and compare numbers with her frenemy Elton's rival bash. Oh, and also Gucci are sponsoring, so the gift bag is sure to immense!
Are you looking forward to this week's Oscars? Leave your comments below!
