Kal Penn: Kumar
Photos
Quotes
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Kumar : [Upon being asked to go to a Christmas Eve party] No can do man. I have to stay here and smoke this weed, otherwise I won't get high.
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[Kumar butts to the front of the line and is now on Santa's lap]
Mother in Santa line-up : HEY! Back of the line, Tech Support!
Kumar : Take it easy, Reba. Your little boy can rub his ass on Santa's cock in a minute!
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Harold : You still haven't explained the gay thing.
Kumar : You're not gay, motherfucker!
Harold : At all.
Neil Patrick Harris : Yeah that's something us magicians like to call misdirection. Just a little something I picked up from my man, Clay Aiken.
Kumar : What? Clay Aiken's not gay?
Neil Patrick Harris : Are you kidding me? Clay's the biggest coos hound I know. That guy gets mad gash.
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Kumar : You have a good job, you make good money, and you don't beat your wife. What more could a Latino father-in-law ask for?
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Kumar : I haven't shaved since you left. Pretty romantic, right? Like Ryan Gosling in "The Notebook."
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Kumar : Uh, miss, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to let you rape my friend on Christmas Eve.
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Wafflebot : Would you like a waffle, Mr. Harris?
Neil Patrick Harris : Shut up! God, I hate this fucking pancake bot thing.
Kumar : Dude, it's Wafflebot. Not a pancake bot, they're awesome.
Neil Patrick Harris : Hey, waffle thing! Get the fuck out of my life!
[kicks Wafflebot]
Wafflebot : Ouch!
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Neil Patrick Harris : What can I do for you, my burglars of turd?
Kumar : How the heck are you still alive?
Neil Patrick Harris : What are you talking about?
Harold : We saw you get shot! Remember?
Neil Patrick Harris : You have to be more specific.
Kumar : In that whorehouse?
Harold : In Texas!
Kumar : You branded a prostitute!
Harold : Remember?
Neil Patrick Harris : Oh yeah!
